Where Have You Been, Living Hale?

Two years ago, our family seemed to be living the perfect life. Sure, there were struggles and difficulties. But, we had a beautiful home, fairly well-adjusted kids, jobs that were almost ideal and paid well, and many friends. We were able to take great vacations. We never worried about finances or the future. Then our lives began to spin out of control.

Our family faced an unexpected crisis almost two years ago from which we have yet to recover. The past two years have been filled with changes and challenges of all sorts. We have left jobs, left home and friends, struggled to make new friends, faced layoffs, sold a house, bought a house, re-financed a home, moved from one state to another state, struggled to pay bills, and been “under-employed.” We have taken vacation that put us in debt. Our kids have experienced emotional and physical setbacks. We have struggled to find our way and find our purpose. I think each family member has gone through seasons of depression, sometimes severe depression. At my worst, I dreaded leaving our house. I didn’t want to meet anyone in the store. I lost my love for most things and feared all things.

In hindsight, our family was hurting before the crisis. Although I enjoyed my job and it was my passion, it was a huge drain on me and adversely affected my relationship with my family. It was necessary for the job to end, but it was still traumatic. Leaving my position started the chain of events that led us to Colorado. We are in a much better place now than we were three years ago, but the pain of the past two years is still acute. We are in a much better place, but it still hurt for us to leave a great home, a tremendous group of friends, and a system that we understood. We have had to start over from scratch in Colorado.

Two years ago, I lost my joy and my belly laugh. I lost my voice. I was unable to do the things that I enjoyed most, like writing. I listened to those voices telling me that I COULD NOT. I fell into the morass of believing what other people had said about me. No more.

They say that time heals all wounds. I don’t know that our wounds are healed completely; but our wounds are healing. Although our family was derailed, we are now putting the train back on the tracks. I am finding my voice again. I am writing again (and, yes, that means blogging again). I am no longer listening to those voices that call me FAILURE and choosing to listen to the voices of friends and family who say that my life has meaning and purpose. I choose to see what I have instead of what I have lost. I hope to soon find joy and a good ol’ belly laugh.

Where have you been, Living Hale? Don’t ask where we have been. Ask where we are going. I hope you can keep up, it’s going to be an eventful ride.